Anger is a negative emotion,so strongly related to pain and depression ,that some times it is hard to say when one of those emotional conditions begins and when it ends.Pain is never associated only with the body,it also has an emotional side.Our emotions are strongly related to how much pain we feel,and pain it self is associated with depression.
Anger is a very powerful emotion and sometimes the feeling of it is good,sometimes anger can motivate you to act more than any other thing in the world,but it also has a negative effect and the key to anger management is to learn to separate the 2 effects.
Surely you have felt how your body is getting tones of energy when you are angry.It starts from your stomach goes up the chest and in the head,after that you are out of control.This can help you for reaching a goal like defending your self in the street ,but anger never helps reaching long term goals.Keeping your head cold and clean is the way to success!
Also anger makes you want to spread the negative emotions to the people surrounding you which may lead to a bad social live = more depression = more anger!
So after pointing out the obvious reasons you should learn to control your anger here is what the psychologist advice:
Accept your anger
First of all you have to learn to accept the anger you feel.many people hide it deep inside and pretend to be calm.This leads to a "explosion" in a certain moment which will affect your social life in a horrifying way.It also bad for your nervous system.
Look at your anger as a signal
Your anger is a signal for the existence of a irritating factor,this signal should have your full attention ,it sholdnt be avoided or repressed.
Try to figure out where your anger will lead you
You are angry,maybe your boss shouts at you in front of your colleges.Where will your anger lead you?If you dont think about it and leave your self on the flow,you will work it off on the people around you...nothing to win everything to lose right?But if you say to your self "how can i use my anger" maybe you will catch the impulse to do something positive in the office and prove your boss wrong,will that not be great?
Listen to your self
Take a second a listen to the dialog in your head,often anger is based on believing that life was injustful to you.Well guess what life isnt based on justice ,its injustful the lion to eat other animals but it happens.So forget about justice and some of your major problems with anger will soon fade away.
As the great Rocky Balboa said :
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done."
So if a underdog boxer understood that the world aint all sunshine and rainbows why havnt you yet?Understanding that will free you from self pity which will free you from depression and as you already know depression leads to anger,so no depression=less anger!
If you can really follow those simple tips and understand your anger,it will be bye bye negative anger and hello great life!
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