Sunday, August 26, 2007

Romance:Online dating

online dating
After my 2 posts on romance ( romance and romance the next step ) i received e-mails asking me about online dating,the more interesting thing is that most of them were from girls.But im not a girl...i dont really know much about that.So i asked a girl friend to help me cause she is in to the online dating thing from a couple of years and i think she would know about it.First of all i will start with what both genders should have.

A photo album.

You should have photos of you,your pet,your home,your favorite places etc.This will help your date to know you better and it will convince her/him to give you her/his own photos.

Share activitiesGive links to your favorite sites,participate in different online contests together and you can also bid at auctions thats a lot of fun.
Those are some general things that both genders need to have and need to do when you start online dating.

Now lets talk about online dating for men.

Dont push your date
Having heard of 1000 of cases, about girls meeting in person online dates ,ending up in tragedy.And by tragedy I mean something far worst than a boring date.There are psychos over the net and you better dont act like one of them.Dont push the girl to give you her adress or to meet in person.Have patience.The only thing you can win from pushing is:
the girl will think either you are a psycho or you are very very desperate ,than she will tell her girlfriends about you and...thats the end of your online dating.Thats not much of a winning right?So remember:

Patience!Patience!Patience!

Be honestDont lie about your physical appearance and job.That why its good everybody to have a photo album.You can just check out the photos (assuming that people dont put fake pictures) and decide if you want to have anything with that person.A lie might help in the beginning but what is your goal?To chat with somebody until she understands the truth or to build a relationship.No relationships are build on lies.Dont think yours will be the first one.Again the only thing you can win is not much of a victory.You will fast be known as a lier in the online dating society.

Ask the right questions.You have to find out is she really what she wants you to think she is.You can do that by asking the right questions.
  1. What are the biggest mistakes guys do when online dating ?From that question you can really understand a lot about the girl and her views about man in generally.
  2. What do you think about online dating?Now she will let you know if she had other online dates and why were they good or bad.This will help you if eventually you meet.
  3. What caused breakup in your last relationship?If she fully blames the guy,go to your next contact,if she takes all the blame,do the same.But if she says that the relationship was not right for both of the parties and that they broke up by mutual consent-thats the answer you want to here.Continue the chat but always be cautioned.
The time comesThe time to meet has came.You have opened a discussion about a real date.What should you do?
Dont be hasty and suggest that you meet in a public place during daylight.Also you can tell her that if she wants to she can bring a friend.The goal is to make her feel safe meeting you.
Now lets move to the girls.Girls what you are about to read is not my point of view it is from one of you!So sending me angry emails will not change anything.

Dont write your life storyKeep it short and sweet.Safe the details for when he asks.Answer his questions and ask him.For every question he asks ask one your self.And by answering again you need to keep it short nothing turns a man off more than a woman that just can shut her mouth.

Be honestDont lie.A lie will win you nothing but you can lose everything.It may be online but still sooner or later the lies will catch up on you.

Dont be easyDont be to eager this will only make you look desperate and make the gut run away.Also remember that guys are conquerors and if they win the girl to easy it will only make them lose interest.Im not telling you to play "hard to get" but also dont be a easy girl.
Thats what I can help you with for now.Do it and you will be a lot closer to online success .
Oh and one last thing.

How do you pick to correct site?

With the boom in online dating a lot of sites claim to be the ultimate online dating source.You should take in mind these things :
  1. How much are you ready to pay for your membership?
  2. Features?Which are most important for you?
a)Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?

b)Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.

c)Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?

d)Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?

e)Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?


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